It's a Monster/Transcript

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Cranking

[Cranking: Day 1]

Hey, Ruby, didn't you die from sadness?

No one actually dies from sadness, silly!

Wait, really?

Really!

I guess I should have known that.

[Cranking: Day 2]

*BT appears on her clock* OMG! (has Check-it Eyebrows) It's, like, break time!

I didn't know there was a break time.

Every girl needs their break time. Come here, Book, and Ruby, you too!

Yay!

*Nickel walks towards Match*

Ah! No way *smacks Nickel*, Nickel. Only FreeSmarters are allowed to have a break time. You should know that! *grabs Nickel* Get back to your cranking, Nickel. *throws him back*

Oh my god, what a poo-poo face!

[Cranking: Day 3]

*clapping* 5, 6, 7, 8, Who do we absolutely hate?

Spongy!

Hey! I think your break is over. It's been, like, 19 hours, I think.

Ah! Excuse me? You did just not tell me-

Maybe Nickel is right.

No, Book, no. Our break is over when it's time to be over.

And when will that be?

*Ding* Right now. *walks back to the cranking area along with Book and Ruby* See, Nickel? You just complain way too much, like way too much. Complain, complain, complain. I can see why no one cares to pick up a dropped nickel. *Ding!* OMG, Like, it's break time again!

*Book sighs*

[Cranking: Day 4]

6 people are still cranking and Match is still sleeping

Cranking: Days 5 through 76 rapidly flashes

[Cranking: Day 77]

Yay! 99% done! That means only 9 hours left!

[Cranking: Day 78]

The cranking is finished and the HPHPRCC ejects out an HPRC

Self-destruction

Finally, we're done! I need a well-deserved break.

Well, I'm not tired at all. I must be, like, super-strong!

HPHPRCC The HPHPRCC will now self-destruct in 15, 14… *continues to count down*

What?! No one told me that thing would destroy itself!

Well, I'm a HPHPRCC user manual, so I think I can look up how to fix this! Let's see…

HPHPRCC 5, 4, 3… *Yellow Face, while sweating, inserts a Postpone Token into the HPHPRCC* 15… *continues to count down*

Oh: The HPHPRCC is a single-use disposable machine. After creating its one and only HPRC, the HPHPRCC will self-destruct to decompose into the soil better.

Why didn't Firey Speaker Box tell us that?

Let's not talk about that now.

HPHPRCC 1… *Yellow Face postpones the self-destruction again* 15… *continues to count down*

This thing is going to explode!

Well, we don't know that. "Self-destruct" could mean anything. It might "explode" or it might just "disappear without a trace". I'd say we have a 50/50 chance.

I'm feeling kind of lazy. I'll take my chances. *Yellow Face is out of Postpone Tokens*

HPHPRCC 5, 4, 3, 2, 1- *explodes*

*Ruby screams*

Stop hallucinating, Ruby. The HPHPRCC disappeared– without a trace, and everyone's fine!

Oh, really? That's a relief.

The HPRC's return

I'll bring Spongy back.

Wait, Yellow Face! Stop!

Huh?

You need to learn how to, like, prioritize. Most important peoples come first! So, like, Pencil is first. *types "Pencil" and cranks her out*

Yay!

And Ice Cube! *types "Ice Cube" and cranks her out*

Wha?

And Bubble. *types "Bubble" and cranks her out*

FreeSmarters Yay!

Let's go.

(Freesmarters walk away from W.O.A.H Bunch)

Yes! They're finally gone.

Needle, *cranks Needle out* Pin, *cranks Pin out* Spongy. *cranks Spongy out*

Good, it looks like our whole team is here.

Awe! I didn't get my limbs back? This is so unfair!

Okay, we need to get moving. Hurry along.

The Supervan and the walking

I think someone needs to apologize.

I'M SORRY NEEDLE!

Thank you.

Wut abuot me? Apulogise to me!

Spongy, No offense, but no one cares!

But, but, but-

Spongy! Zip it!

Bhut I dhied, and Iht waz painfhul!

Life is full of pain.

Camera pans to FreeSmart

Aren't you sad that we lost the FreeSmart Van?

Why would you be sad when you can be awesome?

What's that supposed to mean?

I present to you the FreeSmart Supervan!

The Freesmart Supervan!

FreeSmart *cheers*

Okay, get in. *All FreeSmart members get into the Supervan*

Camera pans to W.O.A.H. Bunch

You know, all this walking is gonna take a long time.

WALKING IS FUN!

Hmm. We need a better way. Like, Why don't we recover Puffball, and threaten her into flying us to Yoyleland!

Pin, you're a genius! Pointy genius, but definetly a genius.

But how will we threaten her?

I know! Let's call her Puffy.

<Awkward silence>

PERFECT! P-U-F-F-B-A-L-L. Okay. Ready, guys!

Spongy and Pin: Ready!

Coiny: GO! *Pin cranks along with Bomby*

Needle: Uh, um.. What's my line?

Puffball: Let me go!

Needle: Oh, I remember. We'll call you Puffy, we'll call you Puffy, we'll call you Puffy, we'll call you Puffy, we'll call you Puffy...

Coiny: STOP HER!

Gelatin: Huh? What happened?

Puffball: Fend off the W.O.A.H. Bunchers for me.

Gelatin: On it! *Throws syringes at the W.O.A.H Bunchers*

<W.O.A.H. Bunch freezes>

Puffball: Yes, good work!

Book: There are so many bright lights in this van!

Pencil: Book, it's not a van, it's a SUPERVAN!!

Book: Oh, sorry, Supervan. Still alot of bright lights though.

Pencil: It looks like we're entering the desert. Time to turn up the AC!

Bubble: We don't need a AC because we've got Oice Cube! Hoi, hoi!

Ice Cube: NOO!

Golf Ball: Okay, role call. Gelatin?

Gelatin: Here!

Golf Ball: Fries?

Fries: Here!

Golf Ball: Firey?

Firey: Here!

Golf Ball: Rocky?

Rocky: Mhmm!

Golf Ball: Puffball!

Puffball: I'm here!

Golf Ball: Tennis Ball?

Tennis Ball: Here!

Golf Ball: And I, Golf Ball, am also here. So that's everyone. I believe we are ready to continue our mission to reach Yoyle Land. Step 1: Position yourself on top of Puffball.

Fries: I can do that. But what should we do about these bodies? *Holds up a frozen Yellow Face*

Golf Ball: Leave them there. They are TRAITORS!

The Supervan in the desert

Book: Oh my word! We forgot to bring the Hand Powered Recovery Center with us!

Ice Cube: Whaa-?

Pencil: Book, relax, this supervan has a built-in Leg Powered Recovery Center!

Book: Hold on... Leg Powered? Why would it matter to use m'hands or legs on that thing?

Pencil: Book, if you tried to use your hands on that thing... well...

Book: Yeah?

Pencil: Well...you'd be sorry. VERY sorry.

Book: Oh...like how sorry? Like waterly sorry or-

Pencil: Like, super super wow wow over-the-top extremely sorry.

Book: Gosh darnit that's pretty sorry right there! *Uses hands on the Leg-Powered Recovery Center* *The LPRC disappears* Yep, I'm pretty sorry right now.

Pencil: Book, WHY'D YOU DO THAT? WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!?

Book: I was curious! I thought you were just trying to scare me!

Pencil: *sigh* Well, we've got two options. A: Go on without the recovery center, or B: Steal the HPRC back at the Evil Forest.

Ruby: Hmm...we should steal.

Pencil: Yep, that's what I was thinking too. *One big magnet appears from the supervan and attracts the HPRC to the supervan, pushing Coiny, Nickel, Bomby, and Spongy away*

<Cut to W.O.A.H. Bunch>

<Cut to sun shining over the forest>

<Background and music speed up>

<Speed back down>

<Cut to FreeSmart>

Match: This desert is so, like, BORING. It's just endless piles of sand!

Bubble: Yeah, I'm getting pretty bored, too!

Ruby: Good thing I saved some snowballs in our mini fridge! *Throws* Haha, hahaha! *snowball hits Match*

Match: Ow!

Book: *Throws more snowballs*

Bubble: Hoi hoy!

Match: *Starts to throw snowballs*

<Ruby screams>

Bubble, Match, Ruby, and Book: *screaming of enjoyment*

Pencil: Peo- what're you doing?! The snow will mix with the gasoline! Stop this, no more SNOW! NO MORE SNOW!!!

Bubble: Hehe, *pop*

<Cut to Team No-Name>

<Snowballs hit Puffball>

Golf Ball: How can there be snow if the temperature is 42 degrees?! Celsius, that is...

Tennis Ball: Which is 107 degrees Fahrenheit!!!

Golf Ball: Do not EVER, use Fahrenheit.

Tennis Ball: Okay.

Gelatin: I think that snow is coming from the FreeSmart van!

Pencil: *breaks roof of the supervan* FreeSmart Supervan.

Fries: That's a pretty intense snowball fight!

Puffball: Hold on to your seats, I'm going FULL SPEED!!

Golf Ball: But there are no seats! You see, living creatures do not grow seats- WOAH! *Falls into FreeSmart Supervan*

<Camera zooms into the sun>

<Cut to FreeSmart Supervan>

<All the snow in the van melts>

Pencil: Now that all the dust has cleared-I mean all the snow has cleared we are *look at Golf Ball who is standing on Pencil's seat* OH MY GOD, IT'S A MONSTER!

<Rest of FreeSmart members (except Bubble) screams>

<Pencil kicks Golf ball out of the FreeSmart Supervan>

<Cut to desert>

<Puffball swoops down and catches Golf Ball, then resumes flight>

<Cut to W.O.A.H. Bunch>

<Yellow Face defrosts>

Yellow Face: YAY!

<Yellow Face walks through the Evil Forest and enters the desert, but gets stuck in the glue that the snow and gasoline created*

Yellow Face: Aw, phooey!

<Cut to FreeSmart Supervan>

<Match types Bubble's name into the HPRC and cranks Bubble out>

Bubble: Yoylecake!

The Supervan in the Goiky Canal

Pencil: Hey guys, we have to drive through the Goiky Canal, hold your breath!

Bubble: But the Goiky Canal is over 500 miles wide!

Pencil: Bubble, calm down, just do it!

<Camera pan to desert>

Everyone in the FreeSmart Supervan: *takes a deep breath*

<The FreeSmart Supervan enters the Goiky Canal>

<Cut to underwater>

<Cut to inside the FreeSmart Supervan>

<Bubble pops>

<Match types Bubble's name into the HPRC and cranks Bubble out>

<Ice Cube and Book can't hold their breath any longer and dies>

<Match takes the dead bodies of Book and Ice Cube and throws them out of the FreeSmart Supervan, cranks out Book and Ice Cube, and can't hold her breath any longer and dies>

<Bubble pops>

<Pencil and Ruby can't hold their breath any longer and dies>

<Book takes the dead bodies of Match, Pencil and Ruby and throws them out of the FreeSmart Supervan, cranks out Bubble, Match, Pencil and Ruby>

[Hours later...]

<Camera zooms out and shows millions of dead bodies of Book, Match, Pencil, Ruby and Ice Cube littering the canal's floor>

[To be continued...]

[in BFDIA 5e. August 1, 2013]

[I will make two promises.]

[a) The episode will not be delayed. b) 5e will be the last part of Episode 5. I am so sure of these promises that I will be my life's earnings, seven of my fingers, the lives of all the contestants, and a gumdrop]

[Title card: Thanks for watching!]

<Episode ends>